How a memory garden can nurture healing

“A quiet evening in garden with heart shaped cloud overhead. This photo was taken shortly after the passing of my best friend. I looked up and started crying happy tears. She was with me.” ~Jen

Grief is a winding path, often unpredictable and deeply personal. In the midst of loss, finding solace and a way to honor those we've cherished can feel like an impossible task. While there's no single remedy for a heavy heart, one beautiful and enduring practice gaining recognition is the creation of a memory garden. More than just a collection of plants, a memory garden is a living, breathing tribute – a dedicated space where remembrance can blossom, and the quiet work of healing can gently take root. 

A memory garden can offer comfort, foster reflection, and ultimately, become a powerful source of solace on the journey through grief.  It was where I turned in 2018 after the unexpected death of my best friend of 42 years and it has given me an outlet to find her in the beauty of nature~ in rainbows, in roses, and in the connection of soul to soil. 

Choosing the right location is very important.  Maybe it’s a place easily visible from a favorite window.  Maybe it’s a quiet sunny side yard or a spot on your back patio.  Aim to find a location that receives 6 hours of sunlight per day if you’d like to include cut flowers and / or vegetables.  Herbs can tolerate 4 hours of sunlight per day.  

Reflect on the personality of the loved one you are honoring.  Did they love bright pink flowers?  Did they feel excited when they saw a passing butterfly or hummingbird? Imagine the textures, colors, smell of the memory you’d like to evoke.  Start with a simple list of what you’d like to include in order to capture the vision and feel of your special place. 

Some wonderful herbs to include and the meaning behind them: 

Rosemary: The most well known herb for remembrance, representing endurance and strength. 

Lavender: Symbolizing devotion, purity, serenity, and calmness. Its soothing fragrance is known to promote relaxation and emotional healing, making it ideal for a space meant for contemplation and peace. 

Lemon Balm: Associated with joy, healing, and sympathy, lemon balm has a bright, uplifting citrusy scent. It's known for its calming and restorative effects on the mind and spirit. 

Thyme: Thyme symbolizes courage and strength. In the Middle Ages, it was believed to ward off disease and was used in medicine. Including thyme can represent the strength and resilience of the one remembered, or the strength you find in facing your grief.

Sage: Sage is traditionally associated with wisdom, longevity, and virtue. It can represent the wisdom gained from a loved one's life or simply a wish for continued wisdom in your own journey.

Chamomile: This gentle herb signifies comfort and patience. Its small, daisy-like flowers and calming properties make it a lovely choice for a tranquil memory garden.

Yarrow: Yarrow is often linked to healing and everlasting love. Its hardy nature and ability to thrive can symbolize the enduring nature of love and the possibility of healing.

Include personal touches~ a stone bird bath, calming wind chimes, a plaque in your loved one’s honor. Choose a beautiful bench or seating area to create a space where you can share stories or focus on quiet remembrance.

The process of creating a memory garden can become therapy in itself. Planting, watering, tending and harvesting becomes a soulful and meditative experience in a safe and nurturing place.  And when you open your heart to the beauty of new seasons, you find also the beauty of new beginnings.  Seeds become flowers, which then offer nourishment to birds, bees and butterflies.  The cycle of life continues in a garden; the beauty is that it will never look exactly the same as it did from week to week or season to season. The garden provides an ongoing opportunity to connect with your loved one’s legacy.

We have designed and installed several deeply personal and meaningful memory gardens for clients who have chosen to share their stories with us.  It’s a true privilege to accomplish something so important and heartfelt. If you are interested in creating a memory garden, please reach out to us. We’d be honored to work with you.